The Last Stand

A Mexican drug kingpin breaks out of American federal custody, steals a thousand-horsepower Corvette (he’s also a race car driver), and makes a run for the border, where sheriff Schwarzenegger and ragtag deputies await. It’d be fun to report some frisson from the ex-Governator’s return to starring roles, but given this disorderly throwback to the days when creaky action thrillers were at once nostalgic for family-values westerns and entirely indifferent to human life, the honest response is: meh. Although not without aging-hero-deprecation humor of the sort Clint Eastwood recently has made tedious, The Last Stand also misses opportunities on that front — no one seemed to notice or admit, for instance, how much Ahnuld’s hand shakes when hoisting a .44. As to how he’s assimilated his stint in pollydigs, consider the sole salient one-liner: “You make us immigrants look bad.” Otherwise, director Kim Jee-woon and his handful of writers get by on bloody gunfights and a climactic corn-field car chase. The supporting cast includes Eduardo Noriega as the too-pretty villain and Peter Stormare as his too-preposterous henchman, plus Forest Whitaker and Harry Dean Stanton for seasoning; Genesis Rodriguez, Christiana Leucas, and Jaimie Alexander for window dressing; and Luis Guzman and Johnny Knoxville for comic relief.